December 8th, 2010...30 years later

30 years ago, John Lennon was in NYC. Outside of his home. Mark David Chapman who was a crazed Lennon fan asked him for his autograph on the morning of December 8Th, 1980. That night he shot John Lennon to death.

John Lennon was a member of the Beatles, along with Paul, John and Ringo. ( As if you didn't already know ) Writing probably the most amazing and inspirational songs I've ever listened to. All you Need is Love. Imagine. Give Peace a Chance. Revolution. ..........simply Amazing.

Inspirational and full of love. John Left the Beatles an became one of the most famous peace anti war activist, ever.

To Me. John Lennon is more then JUST a Beatle. More then JUST Yoko's husband. More then just some guy who wanted world peace and just flat out love. He knew that war was not right. He is my hero because despite all the hate in the world. He taught me how to see things " Glass is half full" way. That the world needs more positivity and love. To see past negativity and just stay positive. He encouraged peace. John Lennon is a role model. John Lennon is a GOD, in my eyes. The Beatles. ARE GODS.

Beatles have taught me so much, So much that i ask my mother why she didn't have me in the "Beatlemania Era" instead of the Backstreet Boys / N'sync / Spice Girls Era. Don't get me wrong. I love BSB and all those 90's bands, BUT. The Beatles and all the music from the past is just better. It has more heart. It has more soul. It has feeling. All you NEED... is LOVE. .... Just IMAGINE, what the world would be like if there was peace. I was only 11 years old when this whole ...terrorist act started happening... and I'm 20 !! So many innocent people are getting killed every single day... and what does the person have at the end of the day??? Nothing. I want peace. I want Love. I want the world to be a better place, Bot just for my generations. But for kids who don't know whats going on in the world. I would love to be 5 years old again, and not know why Canadian Soldiers are come home in coffins or what roadside bombs are. It's sad. War is sad. I don't understand why people are so hateful towards others. What would John Lennon say about the teen suicides in the USA, because they're bullied ???!?!?! The world DISGUSTS me. Ellen, whom is probably one of the biggest inspirations in my life, was one of the first television hosts to come out as being homosexual... look at her!! I bet you anything, everyone who ever made her feel like crap are kicking themselves in the ass because she made it and they didn't. People need to get over themselves and start being nice. Do you want to carry that on your shoulders ?! "this person committed suicide because of me " .... probably not.

Ellen had Madonna speak out on the issue on her show, and it brought me to tears. People care so much about bullying and they want it to stop. But it seems like the issue is bigger then all of us. Ellen is amazing. I don't care what anybody says. Ellen, cares about people in need and she helps people out. Not to sleep better at night, but because shes a genuine person who CARES.

" Be Kind to one another "

She definitely practices what she preaches. I do not go one day without having my breakfast with Ellen.

I was bullied, and then I got Cancer. When I came back to school everyone made fun of me even more. Saying rude vulgar things like.... " I wish you would of just died " ..... i just survived cancer, i felt like it meant absolutely nothing instead of feeling like I was on top of the world. It came to the point where i had to switch schools because I was suicidal at 10 years old. I was saying things like " I wish i would of just died....nobody would be making fun of me" ... I even had to go to therapy for this. It was the worst years of my entire life. Relay for life survivors walk, made me feel like I was AMAZING. Just like the others who walked with me that year. I got hugs from people I didn't know. I was CRYING because so many people were in my shoes with me. These people, know what its like, To have death face you and you combat it. People are ignorant creatures.

I was 10 years old when i had cancer. I'm now 20. People who made fun of me have apologized for making my life hell, and I'm actually friends with some of them. Throughout the past 10 years, I've learned so much about myself and about the world. The Beatles have had SUCH a part in it as well. I love them with every fiber in my soul. They are the most amazing human beings I've ever been introduced to in my life, along with Michael Jackson. All they wanted was peace. Love. harmony. ..........they wanted the world to be a better place because the world and life is a gift. People can't see that.

Empty Patio Chair

I sit in my old wooden patio chair, wrapped up in an old holey quilt looking at the sunset on the lake. Perfect colours are painted across the sky, so perfect it would almost be fake. Sipping on hot tea, cold breeze blowing through my hair. The chair next to me is empty...

I close my eyes and take a deep breath, this place is so serene, its so quiet, no emotions to feel. Everything here seems like it's all a dream.

The leaves are changing colours, it's mid October. Loneliness sinks in, no matter how deep i look within. I don't feel what i once felt. New cards, life's dealer has dealt. I won't feel anymore shame. This is a brand new game.

I sit in my old patio chair, sippin' on my hot cup of tea....
I now see how amazing life can really be.

Straw Hat Rayban Shades

Old ripped up jeans, old volswagon van and long wavy brown hair. Cool hip straw hat with rayband shades. Waves crashing up on the rocks, livin the good life, no fears or worries in sight.

Playin' some John Mayer and Jason Mraz on my old beat up guitar. Rays of sunshine on my face, warmth makes me smile. The wind blows through the long sea grass, the smell of the sea fills my nostrils with salty air. Wet sand gets stuck between my toes. Cool ocean breeze, the type that if you close your eyes, you can imagine yourself on a beach in the gulf...almost. I jam with songs that Bob Marley would sing. I rolls up my pants so that dont get wet. I press on the strings fret by fret. I play mellow hippie songs, till the sun comes down and all night long.

I think about love and life and everything that makes me smile. I lay down on the sand and look up at the stars. I close my eyes and listen to the waves. I fall deeper into dream where life is better, or so it seems.

Le Toit a Grand-Pere

Je Veux masseoir avec toi

regarder les etoile sur le toit

sur la vielle grange blanche

en arriere de chez mon grand-pere

l'ete est venu

les couleur de orange et rouge

mon pti coeur tu le trouve

quand tu m'enbrasse tu me donne des frissons

je regarde dans tes yieux avec admirassion

tu met tes bras autour de moi

est j'ecoutte au son de ta voix

tres douve est calme

mes sentiment son insurmontable

je tes rencontrez

Je T'aimais

Je T'aime

Je T'aimerais

Love is pain.

thoughts rushing through my head

so many times this heart has bled

hurting time after time

they've always told me love is blind

Move on and leave those losers behind

You'll find someone who'll treat you right

somebody who won't always wanna fight

a guy who will be your best friend

the good and funny times won't ever end

I think I'll fall for you

you say you are too

I'm scared of love, I'm scared to fall

i really wish i knew it all

Your eyes and and smile will be perfect

they'll past the test

I'll fall in love

I know we'll have smiles and fun

We'll meet and we'll somehow click

my broken heart will be fixed

I will give you everything

Ill give you my heart

Just don't give it back torn apart..

Green Tea, Tom Petty, Love.

Driving Alone, on this long lonely road.

The sun is setting, and it's getting colder.

Purple. Orange. Pink. Blue. Paint the sky.

Sipping on a hot cup of green tea.

Listening to John Mayer covers of Tom Petty.

Road Lines go by. One by One.

Route 66... Here I come..

Flickering Street Lights, dancing in the night.

As free fallin' plays on my radio.

I wish your acts, weren't just for show.

You're the bad boy, standin in the shadows

Im the good girl, at home with a broken heart

I met someone. Someone better.

And he'll NEVER do, what you put me through.

Old Park Bench Lovers.

I sit on a park bench

Feeding the ducks by the pond

I wonder what stories these benches have heard

Stories about Love? Life?

Even what people have sacrificd

To be loved...and be with that special "one"

I notice an old couple sitting on the bench
next to mine.

Old Lovers. Still in love.

They're feeding the ducks too,
laughing and having fun.

I sit here, and somehow think of you.

wishing you were here with me.

I want "THAT" love.

there's a coffee ring on my newspaper...

I'm sitting at my local coffee shop, sippin' on my coffee with a sugar and some cream. My plain white mug has a tiny chip... cheap asses. I'm reading the New York Times... I'm in Canada, What's the ... ?! Oh well.. I focuss on now and not on later. I read about the Arts and the Life. I drink my coffee...I set it down. I get into an article about the new music scene. I lift my cup up for a sip.. and a tiny droplet drips... I look down. Shit, a coffee ring, of brown.

Hometown Love, YO

This is the place where I grew up
the good times, never seem to stop

From all the afternoons at the beach

throwing a football with sand on our feet

The nights where we partied at lake in the camps

we drank like a bunch of champs!

Sunday afternoons at frenchy's

yeah, we know how to make the deals

Sailing, Fishing and muscle dragging

The water gives me the best feeling...

Smuggler's cove and its mystery,

Mavilette beach, without the fog is amazing.

Walking through the woods

On my dad's peice of land

Colours of Orange and Red fill the air.

the fall here, is pretty great

The culture here so pure and rich
La Joie De Vive.. and the dry fish!

Acadie.... Home.

"Lisa"

Clare is at loss today

the loss of a beatiful person

who blessed us in a special way

whether it was at frenchy's or the rink

you were never ready to leave

we all saw her on the sidewalk or her porch

a big smile and a wave was never short

As your boys skater up and down the ice

your devotion was shown at every single game

keeping track of game scores and player names

even with a loss your love was still the same

the rink was filled with the sound of her cheers

she never missed a game

the number one fan year after year

The rink at Sainte Anne will never be the same

She saw the good in everyone

knew that life was meant to be fun

So innocent, pure and happy

there was no evil that lurked in her body

we are at loss today

grieving someone who touched us all in her own way

She'll still be cheering her boys

in her heavenly home, she'll be making some noise

-----

Rest In Peace, Lisa

August 27th, 2010

Broken Yellow Lines.

Broken Yellow Lines

Just flashing by

Driving down this long hard road

filled with cracks and potholes

Telephone Poles and Power Lines

In the distance i see a sign

Every few miles a flickering Light

Here i am driving late at night

Going down this lonely road

thinking of all the things i wated to say

Driving in my old beat up 67' Chevrolet.

The sign gets closer and i drive fast,

It doesnt seem like all this time had passed.

I get to where im going,

Young and free..

I'm finally where i want to be.

Lessons, Efforts and Games.

Days go by

i feel like I'm going insane

nothing can contain the thoughts in my head

here i lay writing in my bed

I miss the person you used to be

the one i could go to and tell anything

I like who I am, and I wont change

for you to even ask, is pretty brave

you were pretty much my best friend

you didn't care that it was near the end

when it went wrong it was always my fault

always up to me to fight my ass off
don't ever say i didn't care

my heart to you, I would always bare

you'd get mad at me and tell me to stop pushing

but when i didn't it wasn't enough

i always made the effort for you

you'd say things and never follow through

i learned my lesson to not get exited,
and don't get your hopes up

because off a cliff they will drop

I only wanted to go out and have fun

anti-social and nothing can be done

Intoxicated only to forget

but the aftermath, ill always regret

People say you're not worth the tears and pain

7 months, thrown away and its a shame

we were so crazy in love

It was an addiction to a perfect drug

You'd tell me to relax and calm down

you're the one who's always freaking out

The wall, to break it down you didn't care
Pretty bad, every time we talk i get scared

Gave me Guilt trips left and right
how were we ever so tight?!

You made me sad and called me names...

This stupid selfish psycho bitch...

is done playing your games!

Don't Blink..

Laying under a tree
wind blowing in the leaves
talking life with my best friend
Not wanting the good times to end

Sometimes we wish we were still kids
Posting our colored pictures on the fridge
playing barbies and GI Joe with our friends
Getting $2 from strangers for ice cream will soon end

The stuff we care about will soon change
soon will soon be boys, friends and fitting in
We'll all party and drink
Consequences, we wont take hte time to think

We all struggle to survive
Trying Mary J for the first time
They cut through you like a knife
the peer pressures of life

Afraid to leave the comfort of home
Its now time to make our own
To make some hard decisions by yourself
nobody there to reach on the tallest shelf

We're getting older, becoming adults
All going to college or university
It's all part of the journey
Whether we like it or not

Rain Puddles

Rubber Boots. Rain Coats. Umbrellas. Millions of water droplets falling from the clouds. Walking down the old pot holey road. Water flowing down the cracks like tiny little streams. Rain Drops rolling off the leaves, as the smell of maple fills the air. Washing away all of Nature's Imperfections. trying not to get wet, i sit on a bench and let my mind wander. i imagine tiny children in my head... .. jumping and splashing in the puddles. Without a worry in the world, Getting soaked from head to toe. A little boy tells me, JUMP! ...No.. I'll get wet and i might get sick.. so! JUMPP! its SO FUN, Lady! Please.. Then i realized. Life is full of worries. Bills to pay. Putting food on the table. Everything is a worry. So why not Live, Laugh and Love. Live your life the way you want to, Have fun. Laugh while having that fun. and Love the people you live with, in your life. Love to Laugh with those people. And LOVE yourself. I've Learned this from one friend, and i fucking LOVE her for teaching me to just Live. Laugh. and Love. Its the best way you could possibly live. Live like your dieing. Laugh until your insides hurt and you can't breath. and Love like you've never loved before, but most importantly love like you'll never love again. Dont live for yesterday, the past is the past. Don't live for tomorow because you never know what will happen. Live for today. Take what you have and appreciate it. Friends. Boyfriends. Girlfriends. Husbands. Wifes. Brothers. Sisters. Everything that matters to you. You Live with it. You Laugh with it. You LOVE it! So go. Live. Laugh. Love. Be a kid for 2 seconds. Be wild and free. Have too much spirit and jump in a puddle!

Rickety Wooden Dock

Clear as a mirror
atmosphere dreary and somber
calm and peaceful
on an old rickety dock

i sit and ponder,
chipped paint. rusty nails
the wood old and brittle
creaking beneath me
sky is gloomy and grey

trees reflect on the water with beauty

the lake is as clear as a mirror

Foggy mist on the surface

i take it all in with a deep breath

inhale.. exhale..

Rain drops begin to make ripples

getting bigger and bigger

Orange and red leaves fall to the ground, soon to be crunchy and brown the rain hits my face

Nature's perfections i embrace, dripping down my nose and cheeks hiding all of my tears, and the signs of my fears, of growing up and life, all the things id sacrifice Black clouds roll in,
a storm soon begins, dark shades of grey fill the sky, the rain becomes heavier, thunder rolls with boldness, Lightning bolts lights up the sky, dancing in every way, Dissapearing and fading away, The Sky clears up, and the rain stops. Drops of water falling from the leaves above.
drip, drip, drip, into the lake it falls. I get up and leave.

............Just like the storm.

Waves Of Emotions

Here i am on the beach watching waves,

crashing on the rock i sit on, all so brave

The pattern on the ocean, I lose myself in,

but the place i find myself within,

It's calming and soothes me,
The Ocean is a beautiful thing,

sometimes it is the most inspiring,

Here i am, On my rock

the least bit concerned about the arms on the clock

Waves ripping through the reef,

Here is where i let go of my greif.

Here thoughs run through my mind,

When i leave here, they are left behind.

Washed away with every wave,

nothing will be saved.

The ocean is in my blood.

a place in my heart it has dug.

The Painter.

Paint Stainned Overalls
Paint Brushes in back pockets.

Got to find a plain white canvas

to paint the colours of a new project.
fluoresants of yellow, pink and orange.

With every colourful stroke,

gaining more and more hope,

Layers of colours all so beautiful and bright,

add up too suddenly

My Painting becoming something i never thought would be,

Beautiful Bright Colours of Green and Blue.

Turning into Blacks and Greys.

Like a wet painting left out in the rain.

Colours streaking down the smooth white surface,

washed away with all the rest.

You couldn't compare to Van Gogh, Da Vinci or Picasso,
the way you painted I couldn't let go

You were my favorite painter whose brush strokes gave up too quickly
leaving me standing, an unfinished painting
never to see a frame or a wall.

The only finished project you have,

Is the New stains, on your

Paint Covered Overalls.